Courtesy of The Simpsons 2009 Laugh-a-Day 365-Day Box Calendar:
- He was conceived, born, and educated on a pool table in a tavern near Loch Ness.
- Failed at the culinary venture of selling Chef Willie's Haggis Helper
- Future plans are to build a security bog around his prize-winning heather, catch a leprechaun, and marry his tractor.
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